[[need to have a titled, nihilated hero image to decorate]]
Where did it all blergin?
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[[There has to be a fake story or else the news watching gets boring. The President was debating shutting down the Internet. The Internet people retaliated the only way they knew how: by blerging. Hard. To save their blerging. Hard. Senator Ted Stevens brought his report to the President… ]]
Around 2007, I was more than a child, but less than a grown-up thing. I was consistently slapping the spacebar to make my World of Warcraft character, Emoish, jump through the Ghostlands. My lady blood elf was finishing a quest while I began to switch my attention to a TV news station covering the tragedy of Brittany Spear’s shaved head. She was smiling while she did it. The news anchor, Chris Crocker, was crying on set, telling the folks at home to “Leave Britney alone!… Please.”
It was a busy news day. After Brit’s meltdown, they switched to a guy named Antoine Dodson who’s sister was “attacked by some idiot in the projects.” There was broken glass on the floor and everything. The police ran fingerprints. The news people filmed the guy looking for fingerprints.
[[Give images avenir frames]]
A commercial came on… Kelly… “These shoes are 300 dollars […] Let’s get ‘em.” That guy was The OG Betch.
The news coveredSarah Palin debuted the iPhone in 2007 with 4 GB of storage. After that, Senator Ted Stevens dropped his mixtape on [the recent legislations?] Basshunter kicked off the meeting with the [Norweigian] national anthem, along with his hit banger of the time, “The League of Legends Song.”
This was during a time when the Internet’s most elite topic… was discussing its own debut. T'was the prompt to higher philosophical discourse: “The Internet… is a series of tubes.” Profound.
That’s good techno. It’s a spiritual sign of the Internet’s acceleration.
There has to be a fake story
Use German internet song. You can use pics because of a common license… on the video. DSL und World Wide Web.
Fucking Basshunter. Was Dota 2007?
iPhone was friggen 2007.
Supernews exhibitionist quote. Can use image.
Make a timeline of 2007ish. Criss Crocker. The Burning Crusade.